Pirate’s Log – Flight (part two)


This post is a little late… Stay tuned for Israeli action:

…At least 6 hours have passed. Still on the plane. Still sandwiched between two Finnish dwarves. I did passout for about 3 hours…. Def not enough. Arggghhh! Trying to sleep in the coach section on a plane is as difficult as – something very diffcult. My brain isn’t functioning at its maximum potential at the moment, so thinking of an analogy will take way too long and consume way too much brain power.

Something funny – sitting at the gate with the whole group we went around in a circle saying our names, where we were from, and what type of alcohol we liked. Most of the girls obviously said vodka, a few said whisky (my kinda girl,) and one (seemingly outgoing) girl said she doesn’t like to drink. That comment was met with several boo’s from the peanut gallery. The guys proclaimed their spirit of choice – beer, Jameson, someone said Jager, some whisky. I said Maneschevitz. Hey, we’re goin to Israel, someone had to do it. It got a laugh.

Highlight of the flight so far – this 3 year old girl is playing in the aisle next to me. Her mom is sleeping. I laugh to myself each time someone is forced to hurdle over her to get to the bathroom. As I write this, the flight attendent told the girl to move her ass. Of course the flight attendent didn’t say it like that. But it’d be cooler if she did.

I was given a glatt-kosher (aka super kosher) meal for dinner. It was surprisingly tasty, but I was also starving and would’ve eaten anything.

They’re walking around serving water at the moment. Thanks, I’m parched. The two mini-bottles of wine and extremely dry plane-air probably had something to do with it.

Turbulence isn’t bad on huge planes. Oops, spoke to soon (rumble rumble.) When the plane’s a rockin, don’t come a knockin. This one’s a 747 double-decker jumbojet. I wasn’t invited upstairs. No VIP treatment courtesy of Delta. Boo.

The Finnish dwarf to my right is a native of Israel who travels back and forth from San Diego. PS – these people sitting around me aren’t really Finnish dwarves, I just like to pretend they are. Anyway, the Finnish dwarf to my right gave me a brief history lesson on Israel, Kosher foods, and a littile info on the Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. He’s a professor at one of the Israeli Universities. I’m extremely excited to get the hell off this plane and go adventuring.

The Finnish dwarf to my left hasn’t said a word all flight. Maybe he has a social-anxiety disorder. I’d prescribe him Paxil. The Finnish dwarf to my right and I enjoy climbing seats to get over the Finnish dwarf to my left who’s sitting in the aisle seat. In the future, I’d most prefer the window. This middle-action isn’t really doin it for me.

I walked to the back to check on my buddy. He was passed out with his Suffolk College Rams hat on, next to a really cute girl on our trip. The girl initially walked into the airport with a guy covered in tatts. Presumably, its her boyfriend. I will concentrate my efforts elsewhere.

They’re playing the shittiest movies on this plane… What is “Crazy Heart?”. Don’t tell me you’ve heard of it because I won’t believe you. I asked for headphones (since I can’t locate my ipod) and when I received them, they literally crumbled in my hands. I guess I need to resort to reading the hebrew subtitles. Problem – I don’t understand hebrew. Okay, so ill read lips instead.

Next post will be when I’m off the plane.


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